To build a home

Racing & running vs. real life priorities

Bakery progress

A couple of months ago, I discussed that you can’t half-ass ultras anymore, you have to whole ass them. Seemingly overnight, the number of competitors on the start line who are able to run full-time or easily prioritize their running, has dramatically increased. I am proud of this reality because I know that I helped pave the way for it over my 20 year long career. Going all in on running goals and having few obstacles or competing priorities is more possible than ever due to increased money and visibility of the sport. That is not to say that most sponsorships are actually living wages, but people are making enough to justify the prioritization. This was the case for me over the last two years with lululemon. I wasn’t making enough to live on, but combined with my coaching, it was enough. In January, that paradigm changed and I was faced with losing half my income when I was dropped. But I decided to try and “sign my own permission slip” and continue to prioritize my running, all while Nathan and I worked to get our bakery open. I decided to forgo trying to go back to WS and focus on Comrades. I went all in on that goal. At the time, I could see no obstacle in getting to the start line. It seemed like a sound plan that would allow me to train at home, not travel and focus my non-training time on opening the bakery. I assumed based on the information we had when I made this decision (February) that the bakery would be open and running smoothly long before Comrades.

Back in December, when I raced McDowell Mountain Frenzy 50k, I was chatting with AJW at the finish about Black Canyon 100k. He said, “you are tough to beat WHEN you actually show up to a race”. It stung a bit to have someone casually fling that my way, but if I remove the ego, I am able to agree with the statement without agreeing to the sentiment. I have had to do A LOT of pivoting over the years. I have had a A LOT of start lines I didn’t get to be on despite my best intention. None of those start lines were missed because I am lacking commitment or flakey. There are two things that have caused these misses that are not part and parcel of the lives of many of my top competitors. First, chronic illness. Second, being a bakery owning, food entrepreneur (no quotation marks needed). My health is a competing priority that I work very hard to control and not let get in the way, but MY reality is that sometimes even a tiny thing that is out of my control can rock my world and render me unable to race. This happened earlier this year at Jackpot. I had a bad flare, I tried to race anyways and ultimately had to drop. I have devoted a lot of time to my health and I am proud of what I am able to do given all of my conditions. I have done a lot with a little. But this is my reality.

The second competing priority is bakery owning. When we opened MHBB in 2013, I didn’t race an ultra for over a year. I was working from 3am until bedtime daily. I was running, but the success of our massive undertaking was my priority. I am extremely proud of what we built. We have employed 100s of people. We built a cornerstone of the community. We did something more wild than our wildest imagination. I never ever questioned making that a priority. I knew running would be there and it was. I have had a fantastic running career while balancing owning and operating MHBB.

We have been working on opening our bakery, The Silver Whisker, for a while now. Things finally solidified at the beginning of 2025 and we have been working hard on building out our space in Salida since the beginning of February. We have worked our butts off to get open, but these kinds of projects aren’t done through sheer will alone. It always takes more time and more money than you anticipate. We have inched ever closer to being open, but as of this writing, we are not open yet. We hope to be open before the end of May which seems realistic at this time.

Hopefully by now, you can see the impending collision of competing priorities because I can. Comrades cannot coexist with opening the bakery at the end of this month. A few weeks ago, I decided to forgo racing Jack Bristol 100k because I was feeling the weight and stress of the bakery. Flying across the country didn’t feel like it would be a momentary reprieve or break from the pressures, it filled me with dread and felt daunting. This was my harbinger for the decision I would have to make around Comrades. As we get more information on contractor’s timelines and put all of the pieces on the table, it became clear that Comrades and the bakery opening were competing priorities. And while I carefully reviewed and examined all the things that needed to occur to allow me to race, the reality revealed itself that given our understanding at this moment, it will be impossible for me to race Comrades. We are hoping to open later in this month, approximately 10 days before I was supposed to get on the plane to South Africa. Given the nature of the business we are building, it is going to be all hands on deck getting things going and will (again) require both Nathan and I to devout our all to make this a success. I simply cannot fly away 10 days after we open. I cannot do my best at Comrades and do my best for my business. It is sad but a reality. And you cannot argue with reality.

For a moment yesterday, I just wanted to yell in frustration. I don’t like this answer. I would have done so many things differently, raced so much more this spring, if I had known this would happen. But then I remembered, I did the best I could to make the best choice I could with the information we had at the time. I thought Comrades was a safe bet and it turned out not to be. And that is ok. I will be ok. The fitness is not lost and this is not my only chance. In fact, I can look back at the training I’ve done this year at marvel just what amazing work I’ve been able to do. I have been doing more mileage and more workouts over the past 4-6 months than I had been able to do in a long time. I feel more fit than I have in a long time. That’s not going to waste or going away. As I look towards the summer and being out of the initial opening phase, I am excited to plan races and build goals. But as I do, I hold them as lightly as I should have held Comrades. Running is extremely important to me but there is more to life than just running. But I also know that even when life is life-ing super hard that running will always be there and I can return to it again and again.

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